Thursday, August 1, 2013
The Expat Dilemma
Last night, I was trying to explain to Trevor how it's like to feel trapped between two worlds. I said trapped but what I really meant is stuck. Not physically, but emotionally, although a physical metaphor might illustrate it better.
It's like flying from one place to another and having to bear through a perpetual layover. You've left home and said your goodbyes. Your friends have gone back to their homes and jobs and came to terms that they won't see much of you anymore. You are out of their lives, for the most part, and out of their daily routine. Your bags are packed and on the plane already, but you have another plane to catch. Meanwhile, you're not getting anywhere. You're just stuck in the waiting lounge of your next flight. You know where you're supposed to be heading, but can't quite get there yet. You have no friends in the new place, because friendships take time and commitment and you don't even know if you're going to click with the people at your new destination. Because friends need to click.
So there you are, in the waiting lounge, watching some planes take off and other planes land and you have no idea when you'll be called to board. Meanwhile, you try to keep yourself busy because you know that otherwise you'll go crazy. But in the back of your mind, the same thoughts spin over and over again: What do I do when I don't belong anywhere? Who am I between uprooting and rerooting? How do I figure out which is the best way to build my life again from scratch? When does it get easier?