Friday, May 10, 2013

How to celebrate Mother's Day

I really like Americans. God bless them, they're festive!

When I came here in February they were getting ready to celebrate St. Patrick's Day (March 17th), even though the majority of people in our town is neither Irish nor Catholic. We were driving by the local Irish restaurant and we saw a girl ready to praise the saint. She was wearing shorts and fishnet tights ... in February. She was that pious.

Then came Cinco de Mayo, but the frenzy started in mid-April. It's a good reason to go out and get drunk even if you're not ... you guessed it ... of Mexican descent.

But do you know who likes celebrating even more than people who get wasted every chance they get? Retail. It amazes me what we get in the mail and what we see in stores around all of these days. Take, for example, the Mother's Day catalog that we got from Sears the other day.

sears catalog for mother's day 2013

This made me think of my mom and of how much I miss her. So I wanted to buy her a present for Mother's Day. The first thing that caught my eye on the front page was this beauty:

craftsman lawn tractor

Wow, a Craftsman 21-HP lawn tractor with 46-in deck for my mom! She'll love it! But then I thought my mom's lawn is not that big and the dogs chew most of it anyway.

So I turned the page and there it was - THE PERFECT PRESENT.

diamond jewelry 10k gold

Diamond jewelry for only 1999.99. Not bad! On the other hand, who buys diamond jewelry encased in 10k gold?! Pff, that's absurd, my mom deserved better than 10k gold.

I was beginning to get disheartened, but I kept browsing the brochure and found this bad boy:

Craftsman rear wheel propelled mower

I was almost reconsidering buying this amazing Craftsman rear wheel propelled mower when I realized "what if mom wants a front wheel propelled mower?". So I put this idea on the back burner in case nothing better came along.

But Good Lord something did!

kenmore fridge

I could buy her a 2999.99 Kenmore fridge. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that before. Then Trevor pointed out that we'd have to ship it about 4000 miles and that would cost me more than the fridge itself. Luckily at the same time I realized that we celebrate Mother's Day on March 8th in Europe and my mom doesn't need anything from the Sears catalog to know how much I love her.

But one of these days I will get myself a gas-guzzling lawn mower to go with my organic garden and lawn. It just makes so much sense.

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