Friday, December 28, 2012

What I learned from Joe Versus the Volcano

On the second day of Christmas my true love made me ... watch Joe Versus the Volcano.

Ok, maybe he didn't exactly make me, he strongly encouraged me. I have the feeling that he's picking up my persuasion methods and applying them for his evil plans. Trevor thinks that Joe Versus the Volcano is the quintessential Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan movie while I think that nothing beats You've Got Mail in that category. As you can see, we have very philosophical conversations here. 

I enjoyed the movie and I realized that I can learn so many things from it. Here's a bunch:

1. If you step into a puddle first thing in the morning, you are bound to have a bad day.

   or a variation on that:

   If your day is going bad, you're bound to step into a puddle when you get out of the car.

2. If you work in a place you hate, you're sure to be in a windowless office with fluorescent lights.

3. If you want to seduce a girl, make sure you tip a mariachi band to sing at your table.

4. The villain will always carry a duck head cane (preferably made out of gold).

5. There's no escaping quirky salesmen.

6. Make sure you get your best advice from the limo chauffeur (preferably resembling a grandfather figure).

7. If you're going to fish, wear a salmon-pink shirt with a fish pattern. I'm telling you, it's all the rage. That way you will blend in and the fish won't know what hit them.

Tom hanks fish patterned song in joe versus the volcano


8. If you're going to ride out a typhoon, make sure you do it with Meg Ryan.

9. When choosing luggage, make sure it can double as a raft that you can dance on. While you're at it, play the ukulele too. Also, if you're buying fancy luggage, make sure you always buy four pieces.

10. The laws of physics do not apply when you are married.

11. If the guy who narrates Unsolved Mysteries gives you a diagnosis, it's probably wrong.

12. If you're going to jump into a volcano, make sure you're dressed for prom.

13. Make sure you watch this movie with someone who constantly shouts at you: It's a metaphor! like so:

Mickey (the pragmatic): This is silly! That's impossible! THIS IS AGAINST THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!

Trevor (the idealist): It's a METAPHOR!!!

If my newly acquired wisdom does not convince you to watch this movie, maybe the clever opening scene will.




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